Log in

No account? Create an account
Act One, Scene One - The Royal Shakespeare Company of Amestris

> Recent Entries
> Archive
> Friends
> Profile

February 19th, 2005

Previous Entry Share Next Entry
02:19 am - Act One, Scene One


jeva_chan = Roy, Ed, Farman, Fuhrer

sailormac = Al

samaside = Havoc, Riza, Black Hayate, Fuery

greenlion4 = ::various actions::, Hoho-papa

Toss-ups = Breda


Farman: (starting traditionally) "Who's there?" 

Breda: (silent) 

Farman: "Who's there?!" 

Breda: (points to himself) "Is it my line already?" 

Cast: (face faults)

The Royal Shakespeare Company of Amestris proudly presents:


Havoc: (grumbling) "This is stupid...whose idea is this?"

Riza: "The Fuhrer's." 

Havoc: (nearly chokes on his cigarette with Fuhrer aims a glare at him) "Um...right.. BREDA, GET YOUR LINES RIGHT!"

Farman: (coughs) "Who's there?" 

Breda: "Nah, I answer you--wait...no...Ne?"

Roy: (thwacks him with a script) "Have you even read this thing?!" 

Breda: T.T..."No..."

Ed: (groans) "F*** it! It's stupid! It's a dead-guy's play! Who the hell CARES?!" 

Everyone Else: "The FUHRER!"

::hoho-papa randomly floats around::

Ed: (glances over at the Fuhrer who has a sign that says "MUST BE KING HAMLET" on his chest) "...whoop de flippin' do..."

Random person: (pops Hoho with pin)

::Hoho EXPLODES!::

Roy: (smacks Ed with the script) "And you! Why are you on stage?!"

Ed: (shoving the script away) "Why are you, Taisa?! AND WHO'S SHORT ENOUGH TO BE TREATED LIKE AN ANNOYING INSECT?!"

Everyone: (sweatdrops)

::Al's head hops in::

Al: "Brother, this is my entrance, not yours."

Ed: (waving arms) "There are no entrances, Al! We're still trying to get the FIRST TWO LINES!" (glares at

Breda: "Ya know! this first scene is stupid anyways!" (runs

Al: "Look can we just pick it up from when I enter? We're going to get nowhere at this rate."

Havoc: "Damn it, Breda, get back here!"

Roy: (pauses and then bops Ed on the head) "That's an idea Alphonse."

Riza: "Taisa, please don't injure the actors."


Roy: (amused) "Of course not, Lt. Hawkeye." (folds script away) "That comes later."

Farman: "Do I start from my line?"

Fuery: (from light booth) "Sir, how am I supposed to do the lighting and be Marcellus?"
(crash noises as control panel begins to explode)

Al: "Okay, so you saw a ghost. Now, go!"

Roy: (looks up at Fuery) "Run really, really fast."

Farman: "G-g-GHOST!"

Roy: (twitches at the inaccuracy of the line)

Riza: (takes Breda's place in an effort to get the play back on track)
"AHEM... I think I hear them. Stand ho! Who's there?"

Farman: (is stunned at Riza's appearance) "Uh..."

Breda: "I think I see him. A piece of him." (Al's helmet rolls onstage)

Everyone: (sweatdrops)

Al: (chases after helmet) "Sorry...wardrobe malfunction."

Breda: "YES! Al's here! I can leave!" (runs away again)

Farman: (sweats) "Ah... Say, what! is Horatio there?"

Roy: (hits his own with script) "Wrong line!"

Farman: "Was it close?"

::Al runs back on stage with his helmet::

Roy: "By 500 meters!"

Al: "Tush, tush, twill but appear...um..this whole play is about butts? Nii-san, you said it wasn't anything nasty!"

Havoc: (flips through script) "Where are we again?"

Ed: "AL! You're onstage! This isn't rehearsal!"

Fuery: (trapped under lighting and sound board)

::NOW Hoho-Papa's ghost floats in::

Roy: (bops Ed again) "This is MY job, Fullmetall!"


Farman: "Uh...In the same figure, like the King that's dead!"

Al: "Is this where I'm supposed to talk to it?"

Havoc: "Erm.... Thou, art a... scholar. Speak to hit Horation."

Havoc: I got a line right!


Fuery: (groans) "Help..."

Farman: (stage whispers to Havoc) "I think you're the Norwegian Captain..."

Al: "What art thou who usurped this time of night together with that fair and warlike form in which the majesty of buried Denmark did sometimes march? By heaven, I charge thee, speak."

Havoc: "What!? I thought I was....that one guy."

Havoc: "Why do you always change these things on me!?"

Roy: "Weren't you here during the dress rehearsal!? Just keep going!"

Havoc: "Erm.... what page are we on...?"

Al: "I'm trying to talk to the ghost."

Farman: (whispers) "You say "It is offended..."

Havoc: Erm... "It is offended... Damn it Al why the hell did you offend it?"

Farman: (sweatdrops) "See, it stalks away!"

Al: "Stay! Um, sit! Roll over!"

Black Hayate: (perks ears) (sits) (stays) (rolls over)

Roy: (eyes the dog)

Riza: "Not you Black Hayate..."

Farman: "Havoc! You line!"

Havoc: Ghat! Horation! You are all... pale and... shaking. Is this not just... not real? What think you of... this... stuff?

Ed/Roy: (mouths incerduously) "Stuff?"

Havoc: "What? Is that not right?"

Farman: "That was my line."

Havoc: "Wait.... so I'm not Barnardo?"

Roy: "Stop trying to steal the spotlight!" (waves script)

Al: "Before my God, I might not this believe without the sensible and true avouch of mine own eyes."

Ed: "You're Marcellus!"

Farman: "...Havoc!"

Havoc: "Is it not the Fuhrer?"

Havoc: "I mean King."

Farman: "Hohenheim plays the dead king, Havoc! Not the Fuhrer!"

Havoc: "Don't blame me, blame the Dubs! They always call him King!"

Al: "As though art to my own armor . . . I mean, his armor . . . something about Norway and a bunch of Polish people on a sled .
. ."

Farman: "Why are you watching the dubs anyway?"

Roy: (looks as if he is facing deathrow)

Ed: (inches away) "It's your play, Taisaa~~!"

Havoc: "Because.... well.... I can't read the subtitles."

Farman: (sweatdrops) "Your line again."

[long pause]

Roy: "HAVOC!"

Ed: (goes over to help Fuery) "Looks like your the Norwegian Captain."

Havoc: "Ah.... erm... (flips pages) I think that... it is... going to ... come at us
wiht ... Weapons and stuff."

Fuery: "Thank you, Ed-kun... I'm a Captain?" (blink)

Farman: (stands there, trying not to fall over)

Ed: (taps Fuery's head with his left fist) "Not a Captain, the
NORWEGIAN Captain in the PLAY!"

Farman: "Al...I think it's your line..."

Al: "Whoa, it's a huge speech! Um, okay .. . That can I, at least the whisper goes so: our last king, whose image even now appeared to us . . . blah, blah, yaddah, yaddah . .

Fuery: "So... when do I come in?"

Farman: "I think it be no other than ever then...Um" (skips ahead) "...That was and wasn't the question of

Al: "Can we just skip to where I talk to the ghost?"

Ed: "No clue...we're not past the first scene."

::Hoho-Papa poofs in::

Roy: (vein popping on forhead) "Fine!"

[long pause] 

Al: "But soft, behold! Lo, it comes again! I'll cross it through, blast me . . . stay, illusion! If thou hast any sound or use of voice, speak to me!"

Riza: (dumps water on Roy) "Relax, sir."

::he floats around...?::

Havoc: "Psttt, he opens his arms."

Roy: (is suprised to find himself soaked before clenching his fists) "Thank you, Lieutenant..."

Farman: (whispers to Havoc) "You know that even when you don't even know what part you're playing?"
Havoc: ::shrug;: I saw the movie.

Farman: (sweatdrops)

::the rooster crows and Hoho-papa runs away, yet again::

Al: "If there be any good thing to be done that may to thee cause ease and grace to me, speak to me. If thou be privvy to -- AAACK!" (CLANG!) (the swinging Hoho-pappa runs into Al, knocking him to the ground).

Farman: (stopping Al's rolling head with his foot) "Um...Havoc?"

Havoc: "Erm... it's gone... the ghost I mean."

Farman: (nudges the helmet-head over to Al) "It was about to speak, when the cock--" (stops and checks lines) "Cock..."

Roy: "Farman!"

Al: "Cock? First butts and now cock? This play is nasty!"

Ed: "It is NOT!"

Havoc: (snicker)

Riza: (facepalm)

Farman: "When the cock...crew..." (pauses) "The crew got cocked?"

Al: "And then it started like a guilty thing upon a fearful summons. I have heard the cock, the trumpet to the moon, doth with his lofty and shrill-sounding throat . . . Cock? Throat?" (Is blushing to the extent that a suit of armor can blush)

Ed: "AL!"

Havoc: "So... if it faded when the cock... do we really have to say cock?"

Farman: (continues to nudge helmet-head over to Al, coming close to doing the splits)


Everyone: (stares)

Roy: "...oh, shuddup..." 

Havoc: "Erm... yes sir..."

Al: (grabs helmet and puts it back on backwards, he is so shaken from having to
repeatedly say "cock.")

Havoc: Anyways... something about Jesus and.... so, like, he's a fair and can't come out in the daylight.

Farman: (tries to straighten up, but it about to fall into splits) "Help..."

Roy: "A FAIR?!"

Havoc: "Wow, I didnt' know you could do that Farman!"

Havoc: "What!? That's what it says!"

Farman: (voice going higher) "Neither did I..."

Havoc: "Erm... I mean fairy..."

Roy: (holds hand out in threatening-snap-position)

Ed: "Al! Finish off the stupid scene!"

Al: (puts head on the right way) "Um, so I heard and do in part believe it . . . um, dawn in russet-clad something something . . . break the watch . . ."

Al: "Oh, can't I just say I know the ghost is going to come back and be done with it?"

Farman: (tips to the side, freed from having to do the splits) "Yes, please?"

Havoc: "Best idea I've heard all night, Metal Man."

Al: "We're not going to have to say . . . that word again in the rest of the play, are we?"

Roy: (takes a deep breath) "Okay, Al...say that much and we're done. No, you don't have to say cock."

Ed: (snerks)

Roy: (smacks Ed with script)

Havoc: (smokes)


Fuery: "So... do I come on now?"

Roy: "You're as big as one..."

Edo/Roy: (to Fuery) "NO!"

Fuery: (sobs and runs back to lighting booth)

Farman: (near to tears himself for a different reason)

Al: "This spirit, dumb to us, will speak to him. Do you consent we shall aquaint him with it, as needful in our loves, fitting our duty?"

Havoc: "Sure, let's do that."

Farman: (hits Havoc's foot) "Let him finish! Just let him finish!"

Havoc: (yelps)

Al: "Um, that is the end of the speech."

Roy: (looks at script) "I see: 'Let's do't, I pray; and I this morning know where we shall find him most
conveniently.' " (looks to everyone, who's wearing hopeful looks)

Roy: (tosses script) "Screw it. We're done."

[...end of scene?]

(8 comments | Leave a comment)


Date:February 19th, 2005 02:14 pm (UTC)
XD XD XD Ohhh, the wonderful clueless Havoc...
[User Picture]
Date:February 19th, 2005 05:29 pm (UTC)
XDDDDDDDDDDD! Zomg~~~! That was so much fun...now we just need to get this under an LJ cut so we can ship it over to FM_A...>.>
[User Picture]
Date:February 19th, 2005 05:56 pm (UTC)
I just about peed my pants reading this thing. You guys are absolute geniouses. <3333
Date:February 19th, 2005 10:14 pm (UTC)
good gods that's one of the funnest things i've read in a long time. I just couldn't stop laughing.Well done:D
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:February 20th, 2005 11:34 pm (UTC)

Re: Holy cow

[User Picture]
Date:February 22nd, 2005 02:43 am (UTC)

Re: Holy cow

XD! I love your icon!! ::gives it hugs::
[User Picture]
Date:February 21st, 2005 10:44 pm (UTC)

Re: Holy cow

Okay, what's the story behind the icon? There seems to have been some crack I missed. ~_^
(Deleted comment)
[User Picture]
Date:February 24th, 2005 04:25 pm (UTC)

Re: Holy cow

It seems that everything Travis touches turns to crack. ~_^

> Go to Top